Parts Therapy Intervention

Today I’d like to share a powerful technique with you.  It’s called Parts Therapy and it will give you the opportunity to talk to that part of you that is reluctant to accept the changes you want to make.

The aim is to go inside and ask questions of that part of your personality that is responsible for causing you to behave in a way that you no longer want to.

You see, we only ever do things because… on some level we believe that those actions are good for us.

Behind every behavior is a positive intention, but sometime we seem to sabotage ourselves.

We try and ignore our behavior rather than try and figure out why we are doing it.

We will find the positive intention of that behavior and find a new way to satisfy that positive intention.

Parts therapy can help reconcile internal conflict and create balance between all parts of the mind.

The way to start is to take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center of it.  On one side of the page write the words conflicting part – this will represent the part of your personality that is sabotaging your success.  On the other side of the page write down motivating part – this is the part of your personality that is motivated to change.

Now, I would like you to connect to that part of you that causes you to sabotage your own success – the conflicting part.

To do that all you need to do is to remember a time when you struggled and failed to live up to your expectations.  Think back to that time and connect with the memory and let that memory become strong and powerful inside you.

See what you saw back then…

Hear what you heard and

Feel what you felt…

Until the memory of that experience comes back to you…

For the next part of this process it is helpful to imagine that you are in a play or a drama and just allow yourself to write down the first thing to come to mind.  The key is to avoid analyzing your thoughts… Don’t try and edit them…. Just let them out.

Just let that experience come to the front of your mind, and become aware of what you were thinking when it happened…

Identify that part of your mind and give it a name…

This might sound silly but it really helps to connect with that part…

The first word that comes to mind will do…

Now call that part by name as if you’re having a real conversation with a real person…

Ask that part of your mind, what is its positive intention?

Write down the positive intention it is trying to fulfill…

Write down how it tries fulfill that positive intention

Tell that part of you that you are feeling unhappy because you want to move on?

Ask that part of your personality to come up with some alternative ways to satisfy its positive intention…

Write down three alternatives…

Great, now let’s open a dialogue with the part of your personality that is highly motivated to change. That part that has encouraged you to find solutions through coaching and therapy.

To connect with that motivated part, it is helpful to become aware of all the benefits you’ll get from creating changes in your life… and write those down in the section called the motivated part.

Ask the part of your personality that is motivated to review the three alternatives.

Would that motivated part be willing to work with the suggested alternatives?

Review the alternatives and decide which ones will work for the motivated part.

If they don’t work as the motivated part to suggest some other ways to the conflicted part.

Try and find an agreement between the part of you that is conflicted and the part of you that is motivated.

Find a way to satisfy the positive intention of the conflicted part.

When the motivated part of your personality and your conflicting part of your personality are both working together with the same positive intention you will find it much easier to achieve your goals.

Remember the conflicting part of your personality has a positive intention and that is why it has struggled to let go of old behaviors.

Find a new way to satisfy that positive intention and the old behaviors will dissolve and fade away.

Know that all parts of your personality have important roles and each part is necessary.  By completing this technique you have discovered a powerful way to end self sabotage, by deeply understanding the positive intention behind your actions.

Both parts of your personality are now finding ways to work together to help you achieve your goals while you remain  in a calm, relaxed and confident state of mind.

Insight

Parts Therapy is an intervention that can help clients resolve internal conflict.  Conflict takes the form of a reluctance in one part of the personality to work with the clients’ desires to move forward in life. This can often be manifested as self-sabotage.

We can often hear it in our client’s language, when the client speaks of internal conflict such as “a part of me would love to do it but another part just can’t let go.

It can be used to break habits, eliminate unwanted behaviors, alter negative emotions and improve mind-sets and thought patterns.

Each individual is made up of many parts and these parts can be mental as well as physical.  For example, you may have a part that is shy and retiring, a part that is confident and social, a part that is funny and clever and a part that is serious and thoughful etc.  Often these parts seem to be either turned on or turned off and this is can become obvious to you in the way you sometimes feel like doing something and other times just don’t feel like doing it at all…

It is important to acknowledge that the conflicting personality part is an important part of your clients’ subconscious mind.  It has a role and it has a positive intention.  This intervention is focused on finding that positive intention and looking for more constructive ways to complete that positive intention.

For example, if your client is biting their nails or smoking, perhaps this part perpetuates that habit does so as a way to to help cope with stressful situations. By finding more constructive ways to fulfill the positive intention of coping with stress, the habit in question can be eliminated.